Assignment

I'm taking an addictions class for continuing ed. credit.  Everyone in the class has to give up something or change a behavior and journal about it for the next two weeks.  Some people gave up caffiene (can't be coffee..it has to be all caffiene and decaf. drinks), others gave up technology, and yet others gave up sugar.  I have chosen to try and keep my calm with my children for the next 2 weeks.  This means no yelling, showing frustration, anger, or being negative.  Good luck to me!

Yesterday I decided to really build myself up mentally.  Think positive.  Be positive.  I can do this.  I was hoping my positive thoughts would strengthen my resolve and my actions.  Mind over matter.  I also told as many people as I could.  I posted on Facebook.  I spoke about my goal with my husband and my children.  I wanted help, support, and accountability.  I thought I would be stronger if more people were “checking up on me”.  That was yesterday…

Early this morning, 3 children are running and screaming into my room.  I was dead asleep when the 3 year old is running and yelling while holding a game in his hand.  He is followed by his siblings who are also yelling and causing a commotion.  This is not the way any normal human being wants to be awakened.  Knee jerk reaction.  I had no thoughts of my commitment, totally reacted and fed into the situation.  “WHAT IS GOING ON?” 

I had a lot of excuses.  I’m not a morning person…I was asleep…I wasn’t prepared to be confronted with a challenge before I woke up.  All excuses.    

I would like to say that I was totally perfect once that moment passed.  I wasn’t.  I also didn’t fail every time I was confronted with issues.  (Like the kids sword fighting with their toothbrushes instead of brushing their teeth…Or when my 4 year old lied to me about being sick and needing to stay home from church.) 

I am hoping tomorrow I will be able to do a little more.  Be a bit better.  I think I may lock my bedroom door to avoid a repeat of this morning!

Processed VS. Natural

In recent light of what is happening in my family, I have been thinking more about nutrition lately.  I do believe in the healing power of foods.  I believe that good nutrition is key to having a strong body.

That being said, I also love my processed food.  I like the convienience of microwaving chicken nuggets in 1 minute - lunch is served!  I like being able to snack on Cheetos and chips and all that stuff.  I often don't read labels because I can't understand what the ingredients are, and I enjoy being "innocent" of what is really there.  Truthfully, sometimes I just don't want to know.

But unprocessed foods also come with risks.  How many outbreaks and recalls of "safe" and "healthy" produce have happened this year?  A lot.  About 4 years ago I had a nasty case of Crypto Sporidium.  A horrible parasite that came from either swimming in a pool with feces (yuck!) or eating fece tainted produce (yuck!).  I get queasy just from thinking about it!  *Just for the record, I have always washed my produce! 

The only sure way to know exactly what you are getting is to grow it yourself.....let's be honest - it's not going to happen in my home any time soon.  I am known as a plant killer.

I like the balanced approach.  I mostly cook from scratch.  But I also like convienience too.  Who am I to pass up lunch with my mom at Chili's?  Some nights I just don't have as much time to make something from scratch.  So my goal this month is to eat at least one unprocessed meal a day.    It means that I am taking baby steps, but not completely giving up on everything else.  (This goal is also made easier by my triumphant return to the gym and to running....which I will write about later.)

To help you on your food journey, here's a little something that I enjoy:

Mandy's Favorite Smoothy
1 individual container of Greek yogurt (any kind - no high fructose corn syrup!) *about 1/3 cup
1 individual container (or about 1/3 cup) unsweetened applesauce
1/2 cup of frozen or fresh fruit (I like strawberries or raspberries)
1/2 cup orange juice (not from concentrate - the real stuff)
1/2 cup milk
Put everything into the blender and blend until smooth.  If you don't have real orange juice, you can add 1 cup of milk (total) instead.
Serving Size:  1 if it is a meal, or 3 if it is a snack.

New Vocabulary

I recently learned some new vocabulary:  adenoid cycstic carcinoma.  It is a very rare cancer.  Only 1200 people a year a diagnosed with it.  Most doctors only see 4 cases in their career.  Someone very close to me has it.  It is not myself, and I'm not going to tell who it is because I haven't exactly asked permission to blog about this.  Plus, the diagnosis is so new.  How does one go about telling their loved ones they have cancer?

We are all hopeful.  Is there anything else to be?  Despite being rare the 5 year survival rate is good.  89%.  In a town all about odds, these are pretty good.  The 15 year survival rate is 40%.  Not as good, but there's no choice about it.  We're on this roller coaster whether we want to be or not. 

But the beauty of life is that despite anything that happens to us we can still have hope.  My favorite book of scripture happens to be the Old Testament.  The story that keeps coming to my mind is that of Job.  Job was a righteous man.  He did everything he was supposed to do.  Then Satan tries to tempt him.  He takes away Job's family, lands, wealth, and even his health.  Job's "friends" pretended not to know him.  How does Job take it all?  He still has a testimony.

Job 19: 8-26

 8 He hath fenced up my way that I cannot pass, and he hath set darkness in my paths.

 9 He hath stripped me of my glory, and taken the crown from my head.

 10 He hath destroyed me on every side, and I am gone: and mine hope hath he removed like a tree.

 11 He hath also kindled his wrath against me, and he counteth me unto him as one of his enemies.

 12 His troops come together, and raise up their way against me, and encamp round about my tabernacle.

 13 He hath put my brethren far from me, and mine acquaintance are verily estranged from me.

 14 My kinsfolk have failed, and my familiar friends have forgotten me.

 15 They that dwell in mine house, and my maids, count me for a stranger: I am an alien in their sight.

 16 I called my servant, and he gave me no answer; I intreated him with my mouth.

 17 My breath is strange to my wife, though I intreated for the children’s sake of mine own body.

 18 Yea, young children despised me; I arose, and they spake against me.

 19 All my inward friends abhorred me: and they whom I loved are turned against me.

 20 My bone cleaveth to my skin and to my flesh, and I am escaped with the skin of my teeth.

 21 Have pity upon me, have pity upon me, O ye my friends; for the hand of God hath touched me.

 22 Why do ye persecute me as God, and are not satisfied with my flesh?

 23 Oh that my words were now written! oh that they were printed in a book!

 24 That they were graven with an iron pen and lead in the rock for ever!

 25 For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth:

 26 And though after my skin worms destroy this ^abody, yet in my flesh shall I see God:

Sometimes just reading his story makes me feel a bit better about whatever is bothering me.    

Failure

So I have failed miserably at keeping an updated blog this past year. It was supposed to help me chronicle preparing for a half marathon...also a failure. I could fill this blog with detailed accounts of my daily failures....the dessert I ate but probaby shouldn't have, losing my temper when I should have had more patience, not sending out any Christmas cards (except one for my Grandmother in Canada)... Do I go on?

I am not sorry to see 2011 go. A lot has happened over the last year that has really rocked my world...for the good and the bad. My own bout with cancer, my grandmother dying, my husband being called to serve in the bishopric, and a few things probably way too personal to share.

But with saying good bye to the new year I love the idea of making goals and trying. Failure doesn't bother me much. It happens to everyone. I am in good company.

This year I have changed my blog, want to recommit to blogging. I would like to take some more yoga classes. I am attempting my first cleansing diet...safe and soundly! I would really love to replace the flooring in my home. I would love to have more patience with my children and finish reading Harry Potter with my son. Knowing myself the way I do, I will probably fail at some or all of my goals. Even knowing this doesn't mean I won't try. If I don't try...that is the ultimate failure.