I'm taking an addictions class for continuing ed. credit. Everyone in the class has to give up something or change a behavior and journal about it for the next two weeks. Some people gave up caffiene (can't be coffee..it has to be all caffiene and decaf. drinks), others gave up technology, and yet others gave up sugar. I have chosen to try and keep my calm with my children for the next 2 weeks. This means no yelling, showing frustration, anger, or being negative. Good luck to me!
Yesterday I decided to really build myself up mentally. Think positive. Be positive. I can do this. I was hoping my positive thoughts would strengthen my resolve and my actions. Mind over matter. I also told as many people as I could. I posted on Facebook. I spoke about my goal with my husband and my children. I wanted help, support, and accountability. I thought I would be stronger if more people were “checking up on me”. That was yesterday…
Early this morning, 3 children are running and screaming into my room. I was dead asleep when the 3 year old is running and yelling while holding a game in his hand. He is followed by his siblings who are also yelling and causing a commotion. This is not the way any normal human being wants to be awakened. Knee jerk reaction. I had no thoughts of my commitment, totally reacted and fed into the situation. “WHAT IS GOING ON?”
I had a lot of excuses. I’m not a morning person…I was asleep…I wasn’t prepared to be confronted with a challenge before I woke up. All excuses.
I would like to say that I was totally perfect once that moment passed. I wasn’t. I also didn’t fail every time I was confronted with issues. (Like the kids sword fighting with their toothbrushes instead of brushing their teeth…Or when my 4 year old lied to me about being sick and needing to stay home from church.)
I am hoping tomorrow I will be able to do a little more. Be a bit better. I think I may lock my bedroom door to avoid a repeat of this morning!
